If you think really hard, maybe we can stop this rain

The 40th Anniversary of the Woodstock concert is coming next month, and I am very excited. I have loved the whole legend of Woodstock since I was a kid. I still tell my mom now that I was born way to late.
I discovered Woodstock at a neighbor's house. We all grew up mowing these peoples lawn. One day I ventured to a side house that they had. I saw some albums and went through them. On the cover of one of them I saw a picture of a large group of people. They were of all ages, long hair, men & women. They were dancing, laying, squatting, and having sex with the back drop of a huge stage. I asked about it and was told that it was a festival. A huge gathering in which people lost themselves in music and peace.
As I got older I would learn more about Woodstock. The bands that played there. Where it was held. The people who put it together. I watched the video of the concert and fell even more in love with it. Every now and then I would hear a song on the radio. Once when I was with my Brother Brian and our friend Richie the song "Fixing to die rag" from Country Joe came on and I just stood mesmerised.
Behind the legend of Woodstock of course is drugs and death. It was a mess with the rain and mud and poor resources. A 17 year old died there after being run over by a tractor. Rumors were a baby was born there also. But even with all the bad things I just love the whole feeling of togetherness. These people were there not only to see great music, And what great music it was. But they also were there because they were trying to run away from something. They were lonely, sad, depressed, hurt, near death, going off to war. I have read many books about people who went there and they all convey this one theme. To run to something. For a long weekend they were family.
The most interesting thing about Woodstock is that it was not put on to become the legend it eventually became. It was put on to usher out the 1960's and all the tragic events of that decade. It was also nothing more then a money making venture. But in the end the fences came down and they lost everything. Also if you look at it music wise it is interesting. Most of these acts were not big by any means. It was the first concert for CSNY. The Who had never played outside England. You look back on these people now and they are the innovators of rock and roll. Then they were just struggling musicians.
When Woodstock 1994 was put together I was in School and was so excited. I spent my money to get it on Pay per view and taped the entire concert on video. I then put this onto cassettes. When Woodstock 1999 was put together I did the same thing. I still have these videos and cassettes and listen to them as well as watch them at least 3 times a year. As with the Original Woodstock these concerts were a mess. Many people claimed that it was nothing but trying to make back the money they lost in 1969. This may be rightfully so, but who cares. People still needed a place to go.
Something about being with like minded people in a comforting environment just makes me want to run off and be part of it. I understand what it is like to question your life. I am 42 years old. I am divorced, have no kids, I work at a dead-end job. I hate myself so badly at times that I cry when I am alone but put on my smile and crack jokes to cover my heart when I am with people. I see people with kids and someone to love them and it tears me apart. What is wrong with me? Why is it that people who lie and cheat have it, but I go to bed alone and wake up alone every day? I crave for someone to look beyond my weaknesses and love me. Running away and trying to discover yourself and doing it in a communal environment. I get it.
I am romanticising Woodstock. I know. But in my heart the idea of people all gathered together for a weekend just listening to music, sleeping in tents, just forgetting for that short amount of time who you are and what you have waiting at home. Just forgetting all your pain and sadness and what you lack in life. That to me is poetry.